New Year

Dear Friends,
I hope you had a wonderful holiday season, And have a New Year with growing awareness.

I have a great leela story... I broke 2 wrist malas in the last couple months. As you may know, when they break it's karma released. "Thank you!" I say.
 So I was in the western shop, that I rarely go into. It's gifts, and "nice" clothes for visitors. We renunciates get ours made for us. so, I'm looking at the basket of wrist malas. I'm to wear turquoise to "make my energy friendly" and lapis for "protection". There in the basket was a small rudraksha mala with just 6 lapis stones for colour, and a turquoise as the "guru bead!!! I bought it, took it, with my name on paper taped to it , the next day to temple for Meditation day. I put it on Amma's petham for Her to bless. After lunch, I went to retrieve it, and it was gone. I asked Her attendants, they said "check with Lola". Found Lola later,in the canteen, she said "ask at mother's room. It will be doubly blessed!" No one answered the door. I went and asked someone else, they said ask at the "inner temple door" to Amma's suite. Went all the way up there, through the temple darshan crowd. They said it didn't seem to be there. They suggested asking "Swamini "So I went down below the temple. and rang her bell. She said "When you give a gift to The Guru, you can't take it back" I explained It had my name on it, and was with someone elses Mantra clicker for blessing. So...I blinked back tears, and ....surrendered.

2 days later I was walking to breakfast and Neena, the indian taylor passed me, (I never see her out) She touched my face and asked "what is your name?"I didn't expect her to remember me from 1 set of clothes....a year ago. I said "Kalavati" she said "come with me, I think I have something of yours". In her shop she said "I guess Amma knew you needed this more than Her", and she handed me the prasad wrist mala!!!! Oh My Goddess!!! Joy of Joys!!! Thank You Amma!!!!!  I don't take it off now , except to wash clothes.

Most of December, I've been  ill and very tired with Amoebas,and the necessary harsh drugs.Nearly blacked out carrying my prasad lunch from Amma. Horrid headaches, in hospital 1 full day with them. I told the nurse, Prasida, how much I loved her, and what nice needles she gives! Nice drugs!
Today is finally the last of the 21 day treatment. then start the Probiotics. After a week or 2, I'll see Dr.Nibhodi for recommendations on re building.

 A woman visitor came up to me a few days ago, and said "I'm a medical intuitive. You came to my awareness during Archana, and I "got" you need....." so more health suggestions.     Amma takes away, and gives.

I asked the Dr. if these parasites could be in my brain and cause the short term memory loss. he said they aren't "in" your brain , but your blood "yes". I could have had them for a year! Nibhodi's wife told me, they can be "In" the brain!

We had an incredible Christmas Performance, "The 3 Marys", a musical, play of Life with Jesus.We have an amazing group of very talented devotees living here! Mother attended, nearly outshining the performance, and gave a xmas talk after.

Amma has been messing with my mind, had short term memory loss for a year now, I'm sure you remember me complaining about it. Well She took away the whole thing- the mind! Tuesday. Scary!!!I. Woke in the night by the alarm clock somehow set to 1:05 am, I believed Amma was giving darshan, and I had stage seva! I was so tired, and i finally thought , "why would I sign up for a seva at 1am!?" I went back to sleep. I woke in the am,very confused, luckily  saw on my watch it was Tuesday, meditation day. I then knew I had no clients, but couldn't find my daytimer, cried for an hour with confusion, fear,and feeling like - my mother with Dementia. Too late for Archana, dressed for yoga under my clothes, climbed all the stairs to temple roof, to find no yoga on Med. Day.
Finally found the daytimer in my bed that night, after a day of searching everywhere I had been! I had already missed an Indian Head Massage class with my daytimer! Rebooked it, and also have a 4 day beginner yoga intensive Jan 5-8th. I feel wonderful after yoga! it makes my soul sing. This beginner class is incredibly informative, every nuance explained. And.free for renunciates!

Mother leaves for the 4-6? day Callicut tour in a couple days, back for a few, then off for the  2 weeks S. India tour. I wanted to go, hoping I'd be better when the drugs were finished. Callicut is where I fell into a statue of Ganeesh, as I broke a bone in my foot during a puja in 2004, just before the tsunami.

But I know I need too much rest to be able to go. I had no idea these bugs and drugs would knock me out.

I'm getting Darshan tonight. Was to get it last night, but had to go to bed at 9:30, I am up at 4!. I've had 2 naps today, so hopefully I can make it tonight, my last chance.

I bought a new "mac compatible" mp3 player ($50!) in Mumbai in Sept. to record the sessions for my clients, only to find it wasn't compatible, and you had to hold it up to your mouth to record! So...I gave it to Amma for xmas. It'll sell on tour as prasad.
It was just too much, carrying my laptop all am for this Psychic Healing seva. I was told about "Tune Talk" that  plugs into my iPod. Found one on Ebay for $18. A friend from Nelson was coming, so had it shipped to her to bring. Got it with great enthusiasm, only to find my iPod is the wrong model!!! Then I was told my fancy cell phone would do it. Just needed a memory card. Many lelas around that.... now it doesn't work. .......I keep surrendering,
and learning new definitions of surrender!

All this for a promise of self realization!.....Amma!!!

When I get better, I'll teach another energy/ Healing intensive sometime in Jan. It was a great success in Sept.

This little letter is getting long...
Off to sit for bhajans, and watch Amma give darshan until the turn for westerners. Sure are a lot of people here this time of year! I couldn't believe how many indians came for Christmas darshan! We westerners weren't allowed to go on Christmas day unless we were just arrived or leaving!

Surrender! Surrender!!!!! Sounds like a song! : )

I guess it doesn't sound like I'm getting much benefit from being here, from all the stuff Amma is putting me through. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else on the planet! I just can't explain how every moment of the day, the Sadhana, spiritual practice, the incredible spiritual energy and synchronicities that occur. This is all a Divine Play, with each of us like marionettes, Amma pulling our strings, for our lessons, and teachings. Always a teaching, an opportunity for growth with every person we exchange with... Incredible opportunities!!!

Much love and light,
Kalavati